Traps Encountered By Battered Mothers

Women leaving violent relationships face many challenges and risks. A survivor with children may encounter even greater barriers in protecting herself and her children from an ex-partner. These barriers are especially insidious because they take the form of “no-win” situations or “traps.” If she stays she may be accused of “failing to protect” her children from violence and then faces more violence, yet leaving means facing the risk of stalking, harassment and more abuse.

Reporting threats or violence to authorities or being reluctant to co-parent means she goes against the “friendly parent” standard used to award custody. She also risks being accused of making false allegations of abuse or being labeled as an “alienator,” causing “parental alienation syndrome” in her child. We illustrate such traps with survivors’ own words among those who experience very negative custody or visitation outcomes. Learn more here.